Hailsham Christian Fellowship
Ephesians 5 v 21-33
Greco-Roman Household Code.
The Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote, "The rule of the household is a monarchy, for every house is under one head'. And following him Greek and Roman authors wrote about household management based on this principle of the male monarch. The Jewish philosopher, Philo of Alexandria (a contemporary of Paul), wrote, 'Wives must be in servitude to their husbands, a servitude not imposed by violent ill-treatment but promoting obedience in all things'. The three relationships about which Paul writes here in Ephesians - with wives, with children, and with slaves - were regarded by everyone as the three basic areas in which the man must be 'monarch' in his household.
V21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
Mutual submission - "demands readiness to renounce one's own will for the sake of others." Paul for the first time uses the verb "be subject" with in the context of mutual relationships among believers. Paul's usual use of the word submission refers to an attitude towards groups - women (1 Cor 14:34), children (1 Tim 3:4), slaves (Titus 2:9) and state (Rom 13:1). In every way men and women are equal. There is nothing in scripture that suggests man is superior or better than women (Gal 3:28 'There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus).
How does this instruction to for mutual submission relate to Ephesians 5:22 "Wives be subject to your own husbands?
Mutual submission coexisting in a hierarchy of roles with in the household.
Andrew T. Lincoln "Believers should not insist on getting their own way, so there is a general sense in which husbands are to have a submissive attitude to wives, putting their wives interests before their own, and similarly parents to children and masters to slaves. But this does not eliminate the more specific roles in which in which wives are to submit to husbands, children to parents, and slaves to masters.
V22-23 Wives, be subject (submit NIV) to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the church. He Himself being the saviour of the body.
A key principle to understand in Ephesians concerning the apparent hierarchical order is that it is qualified profoundly: First, the submission of wife to her husband is exercised within the wider principle of mutual subordination. This however does not abolish the concept of authority. The principle of mutual subordination is not applied so as to destroy the complementary principle of authority, without which there can be no ordered social life among men. Second, the motive for submission is placed within the context of the wife's relationship to the Lord. Those who submit must do so as if they were submitting to Christ.
NIV does an injustice to verses 21 and 22 by splitting the two up with the heading wives and husbands. It mistakenly suggests that the two verses are separate when in fact they are inextricably linked. The heading unfortunately undermines what Paul is trying to teach.
In the original Greek the verb 'subject' or 'submit' does not exist in verse 22. The verse should read 'Wives to your own husbands, as to the Lord'. V21 and V22 are in fact two linked phrases. In the Greek a verb in the first phrase is not repeated in the second phrase but its meaning is carried over. Therefore we understand that mutual submission in V21 is applied to marriage in V22.
All submission in the Bible is understood in the light of the Trinity - God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Each is co-equal and co-eternal. However in order to get the work of salvation completed the Son voluntarily submitted to the Father and came to earth and the Holy Spirit submitted the Father and the Son and is working in the church today (This doctrine is known as the Economy of the Trinity). Therefore our best understanding of submission is derived from the relationship in the Godhead. There is equality, there is submission, there is order and there is love.
V24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in every thing.
Analogy of Christ and the church. Church's submission to Christ is willing and free rather than coerced therefore underlines wife's voluntary submission to husband.
V25 - 30 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up to her; that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body.
Verse 25 exhorts husbands to love their wives. What kind of love? Agape love means to subordinate one's own interests, pleasures and personality for the benefit of some else. Self-giving love that has its goal only in their wives good with no expectation of reward. Christ did not love the church because, he loved the church in order to clean us and make us 'holy and with out blemish'. C.S Lewis 'This headship... is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be, but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is - in her own mere nature - least lovable'. Exhortation to wives to submit is not to be separated from the call to husbands to give themselves in love. Headship expressed not through self-assertion but through self-sacrifice. Husband's love is one that will even ultimately sacrifice of life itself - as did Christ.
Christ delights in His church (bride). He longs to see her grow into the best she can be presented 'holy and blameless'. Husbands are also to see wives grow in holiness, - the chief thought here is to delight in personal development and fulfilment. Christ's love for the church in verses 25 - 27 now serves as a model for marriage relationships. Husbands to love their wives as they love their own bodies - just as the husband cares for his own needs, he should also love and care for the needs of his wife, facilitating her growth and development. 'One flesh' - husband and wives can be seen as a single entity he 'who loves his wife loves himself'.
V31 - 32 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Gen 2:24 has influenced Paul's argument from v28 on - the union of man and woman becoming 'one flesh' paralled with the intimate union between Christ and the church.
V33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
A summarising exhortation. Verses 31 - 32 notes how Christ's love for the church is reflected in the church becoming one body with Him, so that Christ can love the church as Himself. Husband and wives to reflect the great mystery it self, the union between Christ and the Church.
Questions.
- What does it mean when the bible describes the husband as 'head'? Does this mean that he should in some way be in charge: earn the basic salary, make important decisions and be the ultimate threat when the children are naughty?
- What are the main differences between your biblical understanding on the roles of men and women in marriage compared to the views of the contemporary culture around you?
- Do you feel that 'mutual submission' encouraged in Ephesians 5:21 is the main thrust of the message through out the passage of Ephesians 5:21-33 or do you detect a hierarchical order in Paul's teaching?
- How should the idea of submission be exercised in Christian marriage?
Mark Evetts
© Hailsham Christian Fellowship 2004.